Shipping and solipsism

The older I get, the more comfortable I force myself to be with change. It has been a long time since I read something that was like, "Hey, create something for others, not for yourself." Seth Godin's The Practice is doing that for me right now. 

For a long time, I wondered, is art still art if no one has seen or experienced it? This book is making me reflect on that question. I have long wanted to force myself to write. When my father died, I went to journaling and compulsive note taking. I want to practice for myself, learn for myself. This book is making me realize it might be time to shift that focus. My healing will continue through journaling and note taking, but the writing, the creation, that's gotta' be for the people. 

So here I am.  

New habits for the new year

Recently I finished a book called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. This book sat on my "To-Read" shelf in Goodreads since 2016! It was time, and there was no better time, frankly. 

Interestingly, I gave this book a piddly 3 of 5 star rating. When I looked it up for this post, I updated it to four. I haven't stopped thinking about this book for the last couple of weeks. It prepared me to get ready to make real changes in the new year with a focus on good habits.

The book talks about both sides of the habit coin - the good and the bad. Exercise is a great habit. Gambling is not. Habits give our brains the ability to go into auto pilot on some things (morning hygiene, driving to work, etc.) so that we can give energy and literal thought to other, more complex stuff, like reading, using a new tool, solving an equation, etc. 

I FINALLY learned more about the "reptile" part of the human brain - the great basal ganglia. It's a more primitive part of the brain that is about the size of a golf ball and is "primarily for motor control, as well as other roles such as motor learning, executive functions and behaviors, and emotions." This area controls your habits. 

My favorite and most actionable learning from this title was about the habit loop. This really simplified it for me and got me thinking about my own habits. This habit loop helped me articulate three simple, new habits for 2021. 

Water Habit.

• Cue: "Dang, I'm dehydrated." 
• Routine: Every morning after I make my coffee, I now also empty the tea kettle and prepare some drinking water for the day. The reason I have drinking water out of the kettle is because I hate buying plastic bottles and I have sensitive teeth, so a nice, tall glass of lukewarm water is my jam. I fill up the kettle and boil it for the next morning. 
• Reward: As I ripen, dehydration impacts me a LOT more, so I'm trying to stay juiced with H2O. I have fewer stomach problems, my skin is less dry, and I avoid sugary beverages and snacks by constantly sipping.

Breakfast Habit. 

• Cue: My stomach contracts into painful hunger pangs throughout day. Also, need to take Vitamin D with a meal. Was scolded by primary physician. 😒
• Routine: While I mention oatmeal in that example, I'm really going to focus on keeping breakfast quick and simple. I'm going to bore myself to death with a week-long, repetitive breakfast with the goal of taking my Vitamin D with a meal. So far so good, but I have a lot of oatmeal I don't want to waste, so I will be bored to death with oatmeal breakfast until spring, probably. I will say this - I get really friggin' intense hunger pangs in the morning. The moment some coffee hits the belly, it triggers my metabolism in an unpleasant way. 
• Reward: Since I've been eating this boring ass oatmeal every day, I haven't had hunger pangs at all and my appetite is a little less, uh, ravenous throughout the day.

Gratitude Morning Meditation. There are lots of studies out there that tell us the positive impacts of gratitude. Feeling grateful for stuff is a practice in mindfulness. And while it's not easy for me to sit still, I know I have time for this quick meditation. 

• Cue: It's important to feel gratitude every day and preferably first thing in the morning.
• Routine: Set timer for one minute and focus on or say aloud the following: "I am grateful for this water. I am grateful for this food." (I should mix in a few Sun Salutations or a walk with this habit, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.)
• Reward: I will have set the tone for the day. Even if the rest of the day falls apart, I will have started the day being grateful and positive. 

Yes, these are pretty boring, lowkey resolutions, if you even want to call them that. But they were spawned by the ideas around habits and how they form. I'm also quite interested in getting more and more habits developed, but I don't want to overload myself and get discouraged. 

This year, I'm looking at habits around writing and reading that are more specific than I've committed to before. Reading more and writing more is great, but what does that even really mean? I really started listing out some initial goals and thoughts. A blog post a month. An article for a newsletter I put together for a group at work. And journaling and counting how much I write every day. The word count has been eye-opening. 

One of the most important points that I picked up from Duhigg's book is that following and maintaining good habits leads to more good habits. And shortly after finishing the book, I heard Seth Godin on the Design Matters podcast, where he said: “Do enough bad stuff, and some good stuff is going to slip through, no matter how hard you try.” The quote captures the design thinking spirit. It let me break free of worrying about the perfect being the enemy of the good, but it also got me thinking about getting my writing out of my personal journals and notes and into the world, beyond what I do for a living. Design thinking comes through again, friends.

Good habits will lead to good things. And let's be honest, after 2020, we can all use a little more good in our lives. Cheers. 

The lives of 100 people taken by COVID-19

This is not the most chipper post ever, but I felt a whole lot of feelings listening to the NY Times The Daily podcast from May 29, 2020. Also, it's the year 2020, so chipper has proven to be a relatively unlikely and unexpected mood, anyway.

The NY Times podcast linked above was produced after the United States passed the awful milestone of 100,000 COVID-19 related deaths last week. The podcast remembered 100 people of those 100,000. A handful of stories were expounded upon. Many got a one-fact line - "loved Elvis" or "was a renegade nun". Many of the last ones were names and ages. With about four minutes left to that segment, I paused the podcast. I didn't know if I could go on. I hit play again.

I had two separate thoughts as I listened:

1. When I have been in New York City, I always was interested in how people were able to make it in the Big Apple. My Midwest mindset found the big, BIG city life simply astounding and wondrous. New York just made me so much more interested in people. Dare I say, New York cracked open my ability to be empathetic. It exposed me to the incredible beauty, art, diversity and culture we humans can smash into our civilization. There's another side to that coin, but we'll just stick with the good one for now. Also, please note that these 100 people are from all over, not just NYC. It's just NYC is often on my mind, and it was on my mind listening to this.
2. When I started in prospect research, I read a lot of obituaries. When I no longer did that work, I kept reading obituaries. All my life I have been interested in how memory, life, death, and writing intersect. An obituary is one of those incredible intersections, something that is sad and celebratory, or short and heartbreaking, or some other combination of length and tone. I really appreciate great obituaries, as I found myself paralyzed and completely immobilized with sadness when trying to write my father's. I remain impressed with anyone who can focus enough to produce a great obituary, a piece about loss. 

The very last line of the 100 lives segment was someone's last words. I completely broke down and uttered "I hope that's the last one" through tears. Even a veteran obituary reader like myself found this hard to get through. Glad I did it, though.

The front page that day was pretty incredible, too. This was much like what Italy shared - the newspapers filling up with obituaries and death notices. Very powerful and so frightening.

Reader, prepare your tissues.

Being that it's 2020, surely you have them handy.

To a new year, new era and new ways of thinking

Today we talk about no limits in writing and listening.

This post should have happened at the end of the year, or maybe right at the beginning of the new one. It should have been robust, maybe broken up into multiple posts. Maybe I should have proofread more. Maybe I should have perfected every bit of the prose and appeased the grammar goons. Instead, I just freaking wrote it and forgot to publish it.

Yet that is not what my New Year intention was. One of my most important intentions this year was to write. And not just write, but to:

• Write all the time and about every topic.
• When I don't have a topic, come up with one, because this life is full of endless splendor and suffering and everything in between. 
• Come up with words. Because "I can't even" and "I have no words" are not what writers are about. We have to articulate and HAVE THE WORDS.
• Write everywhere; it will help with writing all the time. In the past, I wanted to make sure my work stuff was in my journal designated for work. My trivia notebook was strictly for trivia. My personal journal could never have notes on work. I stopped taking notes because I was being overwhelmed by pieces of paper. I didn't know where my digital notes where. Well, you know what, not writing things down is crap. I will find the notes. I will learn from them. I will lose the notes, and find them again. I will never, ever regret writing something down again, and I will never limit myself to where I write. 

Through this commitment to myself, that I will write come hell or high water, I discovered a way to support another resolution. I have a whole pile of those. Some resolutions are perennial - reading more, writing more, working out. This second specific one, though, it's special. And I think I'm doing okay. The second resolution is LISTENING.

Now that I have liberated my writing, I realize that writing is one of the ways I listen. Phew, having a lot of breakthroughs these last ten or so months. It's a lot to take in, but I feel better, stronger and more empowered every day.

The "Why" Statement

Why do I do what I do? 

• Is it to collect a paycheck? No, but that is a benefit of what I do.
• Is it because I'm a total UM fan girl? No, but that helps.
• Is it due to the experience that I had? That others had? Now we're getting somewhere.

The reason that I do what I do for a living is to change peoples lives for the better through education. Whether I'm wearing my fundraiser hat or my librarian hat, my goal is to empower and transform people through education.

This might seem broad, but it's actually the very core of why I do what I do. I have been changed and transformed by the experiences and knowledge gained at UM-Dearborn. Many have. It is critical to me that others are able to unlock their own potential. In my heart and soul, I believe that UM-Dearborn and the library are where that can happen.

I came back to this today because I returned to work after a LONG vacation and I just needed to get myself pumped up. My break was wonderful and even though I love my work, there's always a pinch of dread having to again wake up again at an early hour and get back to the grind. I am in a class right now and one of the instructors suggested to go back to your why statement for this and other reasons, such as:

• Addressing something at work frustrates you
• The need to prioritize your to-do list
• Having a low-energy day

What is your why statement? I recommend trying to write it out. My first draft was full of drivel and tangents, but after refining and being true to myself and my goals, that's at the core of what kind of work I choose to do in this short life.

Writing Resolutions and Reading Challenges for 2018

Lists are all over the place this time of year. The best of last year. Lists of ways to follow through on your resolutions. I myself have lists scattered throughout my home and digital life. While making lists does help me make sense of my priorities, wants, needs, etc., my focus in the next year will be to take action on those lists.

These last couple years have certainly made me appreciate the writing craft more. Not only the craft, but the physical activity of writing has helped me in so many ways. This is a list of writing action I will take this year.

1. Personal journal writing. There are some very complex issues I tackle in my own head. Racism, sexism, political issues, friendships, family, grief. I definitely saw an uptick in my personal writing after my father passed a few years back. It helped me heal a lot, especially when the emptiness was particularly distracting. Each year I must write more to unpack heavy stuff. However, I find gratitude writing to be super great as well. I find that when my feelings manifest in writing, I can analyze them easier and address them better.
2. Work journal writing. Oh man. I just got into this in a real way. I always had notebooks and stuff I wrote in, but I never dedicated a journal to specific work-learning. It has been a game-changer. There is something to be said about how different reflective learning is from the traditional learning that bored me to tears all through my childhood. Figure out how you learn best and go with it. Personally, I take obsessive notes. 
3. Taking more obsessive notes! I just moved my mom into our home and a whole bunch of childhood, teenage and college notes came flying at me out from the past. It was hilarious and often very, very weird. My written word is out there, in hard copy. Perhaps not published, though some is, but it is not made of 0s and 1s. Plus, I often say if I didn't write it down, it didn't happen. 
4. Review said notes. One of the actions I want to take in my work journal writing is to actually review and take action on older notes. I have a tendency to write things down and bury them. 
5. Consolidate said notes. Google Keep has been interesting. I'm just a pinch nervous that I'm going to really get into it and Google will taketh away. They have before. 
6. Read more. I'll always try to keep writing book reviews, but right now I'm really trying to focus on just reading more, especially books. I only read 9 books in 2017. While I set my goal at a reasonable book-a-month pace, I truly would like to at least get to 20. You cannot write well if you are not reading. 

Treat Yo Self: Top 10 Ways to Escape Reality and Relax

Lifehacker is really great. Sometimes, they just provide simple reminders on how to stay sane. This post is a perfect example: Top 10 Ways to Escape Reality and Relax. My current faves: reading, writing and cooking.

Pixars 22 Rules of Storytelling

Writing well is hard. The most compelling writing is always a story, whether you are talking fiction or nonfiction. In my daily work as a fundraiser, I am always looking for stories that will interest alumni and donors. It's not the big, fancy building they want to hear about, but the way the big, fancy building will change students' lives.

To be a half-decent at writing, you have to do it all the time. The truth is, I have been a writer for a long time, but I always feel like I need to do it more often. Back in October, I came across Pixar's 22 rules of storytelling in a webinar. Sadly, it was just the other day I finally went back through my notes and I'm so happy I did. These rules are writing gold.

Productivity Preachin': Just START already!

That's it. Just start. You have a huge, complex, wily project on your hands...don't fret - START. Have a conversation. Set a meeting (with an agenda, of course!)

You have a report due in 24 hours. You not starting is not helping. Free write about it. Outline. Doodle and think. Ponder it in silence. Record some random thoughts on your phone about the subject - perhaps start trying to capture the essence of the project - its goals and a rough timeline.

Don't worry. Your first draft, initial ideas, your concept - it will likely all be garbage on the first pass. A little saying I made up (who knows when or for what), but it goes "You gotta' sift through a lot of shit to find a diamond." Drafts are drafts. They are temporary. They aren't permanent. They are a start.

Just start. I can appreciate the planners, but sometimes you literally have to start, maybe endure a little risk and perhaps fail, but you learn and try again. You can't plan your way out of life, man.

Start. Procrastination is not a good look. Don't be a busta'.

Start.

Hello, again. Let's upgrade.

Life is wild. It really is. I will spare you the details of the craziest ~4 years of my life. Instead, I want to share what I have been inspired to do because of all those trials:

• Writing to live. I have returned to writing in a lot of different ways. I have a personal journal, a work journal and a learning journal. I write appeals and those are really, really taking me back to my journalism roots - be factual, be compelling, be genuine. I am in the process of writing a FY17 plan, helping me back to my management roots, which is an exhilarating feeling. Writing, all of my writing in the last months, has been cleansing. The act of writing calms me down. It helps me learn. It helps me work through problems. Writing is life.
• Reading: books, blogs, articles -- all the reading. Well, I'm like a million books behind schedule already, but I'm trying my hardest and the reading I'm doing is helping me with my writing, as it should. Plus, I'm reading a lot more news and professional writing to support my work, which is great.
• Learning hard AF, daily. Something I realized while viewing old Facebook posts was that I used to post more quotes and more thoughtful statements. I do that when I'm learning a lot and my brain is running on all cylinders. While I'm not particularly interested in going back to sharing more on Facebook, I do want to get back into the groove of SHARING KNOWLEDGE. With everyone: my coworkers, students, friends and, frankly, complete strangers. I'm kind of addicted to sharing information and that's my librarian background talking. Good thing I got this here blog, eh? Plus, as I mentioned, I'm keeping a learning journal, where if I don't decide to share online, I have a little book with big learning nuggets. 
• Regularly hearing the song of my creativity muse. This I have found to be true: when I read and write more, creativity comes easily and naturally. When I was in K-8, high school and college, I wrote excessively. I had things to say and a platform to say them on, through homework assignments, newspapers, etc. Now, I still have things to say and have found that there are still platforms, new ones, for those messages. My work, my life, my reading and my writing all combine for me to be more creative, spread good messages, and find better ways to tell stories. What a time to be alive.
• Listening. Well, if there's ever been a crappier Gemini, only child, attention deficit disorder-ridden, passive listener than myself, I have yet to meet or know of them. Active listening is a huge area of growth for me. I don't do anyone any favors by not listening. I must be better. I have improved, but not nearly enough for my liking. The first step is admitting you have a problem, right?
• "Change my life." This is what I replace "diet and exercise" with. I'm not on a diet. I'm changing my life to include nutritious, planned, homemade meals. I'm not exercising more, I'm trying to change my life where I get up and move every single day. If I don't eat well or exercise every day of my life, than I'm not being good to myself. Diet and exercise plans are temporary. I want to live a long, active, truly healthy life, with a few fun and glorious departures from responsibility, like champagne cocktails, ladies' brunches, Opening Day (and the rest of the season), and beer festivals. 
• Getting in good sleep and waking early. All I have to say about this is that this is the pinnacle of being a 30-something. I find the Sandman is knocking on my door promptly at 10pm each night and, well, I am happy to oblige. The next morning, my early curfew is rewarded with energy and the will to conquer the day.

Hope you can into some of these grooves in your life. It's not easy. You have to make the time and commitment. When you're brain and body are active, you are your best.

The Donor-centric Case Statement

I had the distinct pleasure of hearing Simone P. Joyaux and Tom Ahern speak today. It is amazing how much one can learn in a single day. It definitely made me want to sign up for an AFP Greater Detroit membership, that's for sure!

Check out Amy Eisenstein's interview with Tom called Make the Donor the Hero of Your Case Statement with Tom Ahern.



I could listen to this dude all day.

Year of Gratitude - Day 275 - Detroit Red Wings

As an undergraduate, I worked for the student paper for two years and after I left the staff, I wondered what the heck I was going to do with myself. Writing for the paper kept me busy and I had enough energy to write like a machine. One day in October 2002, my creative non-fiction writing professor mentioned there was an internship with the Red Wings available. "Parking, dinner..." and some other things were nonchalantly mentioned. My eyes grew big and my hand shot up. The rest is history.

After submitting writing samples and interviewing, I got the internship that would round out my college experience at the University of Michigan-Dearborn and change my life. After a year, I would be making money as a freelance writer. Real money! I met hockey legends - coaches, players, writers, broadcasters. My first professional interview was a phone interview with Gordie Howe, Mr. Hockey himself. One of my last assignments was a feature on Steve Yzerman's Retirement Night. I would write about Red Wings that I had been a fan of since I was a kindergartner. A few days each summer were spent in Traverse City covering Training Camp. Not only did I get an outlet for my writing, but I gathered friends, stories and a working experience that I will treasure forever. It's a little surreal thinking back on it.

Even though my time with the Wings was extraordinary, the internship and then freelance work afterward taught me two things:

1. If I put my mind to it, I can hustle and pay the bills with my writing.
2. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life writing.

That second item sort of shocked me. When I worked for the Wings, I met writers that are literally hockey historians, full of encyclopedic knowledge on the sport. I was not that and would never be, but I still wanted to be an expert in something one day. Being part of the grind showed me that while I could manage a living doing this, writing would be one of my skills, but not my entire career.

• Related post: 30 Days of Gratitude: Day 26 - Detroit Red Wings

Year of Gratitude - Day 146 - William Zinsser

William Zinsser died at age 92 this month. He wrote On Writing Well, one of the finest books on writing. The New York Times obituary said it "...became a book that editors and teachers encouraged writers to reread annually in the manner of another classic on the craft of writing, The Elements of Style, by William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White."

I am very grateful to have been exposed to this book early. I and many others who hope to write well are grateful for Mr. Zinsser's text. 

Related:

• NY Times obituary
• Remembering Bill Zinsser
• On Writing Well

Year of Gratitude - Day 134 - Aldous Huxley

I won't even lie: though I love dystopian novels in general, I did not think Brave New World was all that. However, looking through some of these quotes on Goodreads, I feel like I wasn't paying attention... just breezing through the book, checking it off my list. I'm grateful to be able to try and view the author and his works in a different light.

“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” ― Aldous Huxley, Complete Essays 2, 1926-29 

“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly -- they’ll go through anything. You read and you’re pierced.” ― Aldous Huxley, Brave New World 

“That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.” ― Aldous Huxley, Collected Essays

Year of Gratitude - Day 116 - Elements of Style

In 2008, I read a book about writing that would change how I wrote forever, Strunk and White's Elements of Style. In my book review, I contemplated how I got through TWO post-secondary degrees without reading this book. Writing would have been much easier. This is one of those tiny books that is worth rereading on a regular basis. If you are a writer, it is an annual must-read.

Year of Gratitude - Day 108 - The New Yorker

The New Yorker magazine is one of those incredible fiction and nonfiction spectacles. Only the best are accepted, and not even all the best have made the cut. I had the pleasure of reading a great history of the magazine, About Town, by Ben Yagoda. It made me long for New York, but the book was fascinating and full of incredible history.

My review: http://knowledgeiscool.blogspot.com/2012/12/book-review-about-town.html

Year of Gratitude - Day 91 - Writer's Almanac

Happy Poetry Month! 

Yes indeed, April is National Poetry Month and you should check out both the Academy of American Poets's website AND the Writer's Almanac, narrated by the one and only Garrison Keillor. I have been listening to the Writer's Almanac podcast for a lot of years and it still stands as one of my absolute favorites.

Year of Gratitude - Day 90 - Quotes about Writing

I was so happy to find this old review on one of my defunct cell phones. I saved quite a few good quotes. Here are a few:

"Murder your darlings." 
~Eric Hodgins, magazine publisher and novelist. 

"Cross out every sentence until you come to one you cannot do without. That is your beginning." 
~Gary Provost, writing teacher 

"Just sit down at the typewriter and open a vein." 
~Red Smith, Sportswriter

See others at: Vintage Book Review: Writing Changes Everything 

Year of Gratitude - Day 62 - Life is Meals

The book that inspired my Year of Gratitude writing project is definitely Life is Meals by James Salter. Here's my review of the book.

Year of Gratitude - Day 3 - Immigrant Memoir

There is really something amazing that happens when you get a bunch of immigrants in the same room. For many years, I read about the immigrant experience in history books and novels. I didn't realize that I was living the immigrant experience until I joined an immigrant memoir writing group in the spring of 2009. Around that time, I wrote an online feature for Newsweek about libraries. This was one of those moments where I felt I wrote something great, but felt the editors really cut it up and ended up getting very good feedback about it anyway.

For the writer in me, positive feedback is the finest reward. Once I saw how many people liked it, I wanted to share it with a few of my professors from University of Michigan-Dearborn. One of those professors was Dr. Stockton. He wrote back (through good ole Facebook, of course) and suggested I join his newly developed immigrant memoir writing group. Since then, I have had the pleasure of meeting all kinds of wonderful people that come from every corner of the world. Our shared experience is incredible and we all should be thankful to Dr. Stockton for helping us meet each other and getting our experience on paper.