More writing is always the answer.

Well, 2019 was not my best blogging year. I thought I'd get back to it on the first of the year, but my writing efforts have been elsewhere, mixed between personal journaling and work writing.

In 2019, I gave myself permission to write anywhere about anything, just as long as I wrote. Same at the office - write on everything and about everything. Sometimes it feels like chaos. It's my chaos, though, and I am finally starting to understand it.

In 2020, I am going to keep on with some of the good habits I grew in the last decade. I am reading again, and writing. I'm trying to take care of myself and stay positive. I walk into this new decade, and into the rest of my life, reassured that family is most important. I also won't let the small stuff get to me as much. I suppose that's a benefit of getting older.

To a new year, new era and new ways of thinking

Today we talk about no limits in writing and listening.

This post should have happened at the end of the year, or maybe right at the beginning of the new one. It should have been robust, maybe broken up into multiple posts. Maybe I should have proofread more. Maybe I should have perfected every bit of the prose and appeased the grammar goons. Instead, I just freaking wrote it and forgot to publish it.

Yet that is not what my New Year intention was. One of my most important intentions this year was to write. And not just write, but to:

• Write all the time and about every topic.
• When I don't have a topic, come up with one, because this life is full of endless splendor and suffering and everything in between. 
• Come up with words. Because "I can't even" and "I have no words" are not what writers are about. We have to articulate and HAVE THE WORDS.
• Write everywhere; it will help with writing all the time. In the past, I wanted to make sure my work stuff was in my journal designated for work. My trivia notebook was strictly for trivia. My personal journal could never have notes on work. I stopped taking notes because I was being overwhelmed by pieces of paper. I didn't know where my digital notes where. Well, you know what, not writing things down is crap. I will find the notes. I will learn from them. I will lose the notes, and find them again. I will never, ever regret writing something down again, and I will never limit myself to where I write. 

Through this commitment to myself, that I will write come hell or high water, I discovered a way to support another resolution. I have a whole pile of those. Some resolutions are perennial - reading more, writing more, working out. This second specific one, though, it's special. And I think I'm doing okay. The second resolution is LISTENING.

Now that I have liberated my writing, I realize that writing is one of the ways I listen. Phew, having a lot of breakthroughs these last ten or so months. It's a lot to take in, but I feel better, stronger and more empowered every day.

Writing Resolutions and Reading Challenges for 2018

Lists are all over the place this time of year. The best of last year. Lists of ways to follow through on your resolutions. I myself have lists scattered throughout my home and digital life. While making lists does help me make sense of my priorities, wants, needs, etc., my focus in the next year will be to take action on those lists.

These last couple years have certainly made me appreciate the writing craft more. Not only the craft, but the physical activity of writing has helped me in so many ways. This is a list of writing action I will take this year.

1. Personal journal writing. There are some very complex issues I tackle in my own head. Racism, sexism, political issues, friendships, family, grief. I definitely saw an uptick in my personal writing after my father passed a few years back. It helped me heal a lot, especially when the emptiness was particularly distracting. Each year I must write more to unpack heavy stuff. However, I find gratitude writing to be super great as well. I find that when my feelings manifest in writing, I can analyze them easier and address them better.
2. Work journal writing. Oh man. I just got into this in a real way. I always had notebooks and stuff I wrote in, but I never dedicated a journal to specific work-learning. It has been a game-changer. There is something to be said about how different reflective learning is from the traditional learning that bored me to tears all through my childhood. Figure out how you learn best and go with it. Personally, I take obsessive notes. 
3. Taking more obsessive notes! I just moved my mom into our home and a whole bunch of childhood, teenage and college notes came flying at me out from the past. It was hilarious and often very, very weird. My written word is out there, in hard copy. Perhaps not published, though some is, but it is not made of 0s and 1s. Plus, I often say if I didn't write it down, it didn't happen. 
4. Review said notes. One of the actions I want to take in my work journal writing is to actually review and take action on older notes. I have a tendency to write things down and bury them. 
5. Consolidate said notes. Google Keep has been interesting. I'm just a pinch nervous that I'm going to really get into it and Google will taketh away. They have before. 
6. Read more. I'll always try to keep writing book reviews, but right now I'm really trying to focus on just reading more, especially books. I only read 9 books in 2017. While I set my goal at a reasonable book-a-month pace, I truly would like to at least get to 20. You cannot write well if you are not reading. 

Sugar and such

Man, I had no idea that sugar had so many names. Here are 50. That is excessive. Speaking of excessive, I ate my weight in cookies AGAIN this holiday season. I took a few no-sugar days and am thinking about trying this 30-Day No Sugar Challenge. Heck, I'd be happy with 20 out of 30. And let's be honest, I'm gonna' do February. Moderation in all things, including moderation :).

Be careful. Sugar is delicious, but makes you fat. Good luck to all trying to lose some weight in this New Year and get healthy. It's hard, but you gotta' keep on keepin' on.

Happy New Year!

Confessions of an old year: 2013

2013 was pretty swell. I began a good job, reconnected with tons of friends and I started writing, reading and cooking more. I have found that I am more reflective in my writing and I have been learning more about myself through the practice. In these reflections, however, I found that there are little bits of me that may appear, well, kind of embarrassing.

These are my confessions for a year gone by:

1. Sometimes at rest, my face is a bitch face. I'm so sorry if my smug demeanor has ever offended you, but, well, that's my face. My thinking face is even worse - it's like bitch face meets angry brow. Whenever I'm writing I have the thinking face on and my husband always asks me at least once, "Is everything okay?" Yeah, babe, it's just my face. 
2. Vanity sucks. I hate makeup and fashionable clothes, accessories, done up nails...except there's one problem: I'd like to be pretty and I've considered stepping up my own vanity game. I think this is me getting old. I hate the thought of talking about beauty, too, but it might have to happen in the new year. Egad. I blame Pinterest.
3. Pope Francis rules. He's like a South American Pope John Paul II, who was also the man. I think these guys really exemplify the BEST religion has to offer. The Catholic Church really needs a dude like Pope Francis, who I already think is going to have the same dramatic effect on the world that Pope John Paul did. While I no longer practice Catholicism, if I did, I would super, duper proud to have Pope Francis as a leader. As a fellow human being, I'm super duper happy that Pope Francis is at the helm and leading by example. 
4. The radio has been getting a lot of play in my car. I listen to pop now and played Christmas music since Thanksgiving. I've enjoyed using my Shazam to find new music, including new hip-hop, some Eurotrash and, yes, another confession...
5. I like dub step. A friend was describing the sound of dub step while ridiculing it a while ago and I was like "Oh crap, I think I like that stuff."  And, alas, I do.
6. Continuing with the pop music confessions... I think I like Miley Cyrus. I only really like "Can't Stop" - it's Miley's personality as a free, wild woman that I like more. While I understand that people have called her inappropriate, and some have even pegged some of her activities as racially insensitive, I don't actually feel that this young woman is spiteful or hateful. Is she naive? Perhaps, but then again, which of us was the pinnacle of wisdom and responsibility at age 21? We don't all get to be like Miley - doing whatever we want, whenever we please in as few articles of clothing as we dare...but she does. And she's doing it and apologizing for none of it. One of my mantras this year (and will remain for years to come) is "Stay true to yourself." Miley has done exactly that. And while I don't love her antics, with her silly tongue protruding from her face and her jiggly thighs flopping around all over the place, I love that she is herself and gives zero cares what people think. She's not hurting anyone, she's clearly having the time of her life and she's staying true to herself. I wouldn't invite her to dinner, but I'd give her a high five for sure.
7. I'm still in the recovery stages of my long battle with workaholism. While I am MUCH better this year about working off the clock, I still slip. However, this last year I have ensured that my time is no longer monopolized by a job. I deeply care about my work and am a dedicated employee, but at the end of the day, the expectation is not to work 50-60 hours a week. I'm not a high powered attorney, a doctor on call or anything like that. The work will be there when it's time to work. This boundary has been a difficult one for me to draw, because I've always been so eager and willing to go the extra thousand miles. Yet when I think about the cost of my behavior, my precious personal time, I shudder at the thought of things that bring me joy that I neglect - riding my bike, cooking for my husband, reading a book, writing, visiting my parents and snuggling with their puppy. We all have very limited time on this planet. Much of it is spent sleeping, much of it working and then there's that finite bit that you get to LIVE with. I'm working on my addiction to work and so far I've really enjoyed the benefits of TRUE personal time.