"Philanthropy is the market for love."

Writing something down and saving it for later has long been an obsession of mine. Perhaps I can learn EVERYTHING one day. I'm a bit of a data hoarder. But writing something down has always been very, very valuable to me. After a mostly successful transition to the new fiscal year, I've had a chance to sort through old notes and found this gem from Dan Pallotta about charities and their overheads. It is a must to watch for fundraisers and donors alike! The subject of this post is the quote that had me from the jump:

"Philanthropy is the market for love."

Be still, my heart. 💗

Watch the whole talk. It's splendid.

Year of Gratitude - Day 303 - They Softly Walk

The outpouring of love I have experienced recently has been a true gift of comfort. Today I received a card with excerpts of Hugh Robert Orr's "They Softly Walk" written inside. It is so perfect and comforting. I am grateful for such thoughtful people in my life, especially now.

They Softly Walk - Hugh Robert Orr

They are not gone who pass

Beyond the clasp of hand,

Out from the strong embrace.

They are but come so close

We need not grope with hands,

Nor look to see, nor try

To catch the sound of feet.

They have put off their shoes

Softly to walk by day

Within our thoughts, to tread

At night our dream-led paths

Of sleep.

...

They are not dead who live

In hearts they leave behind.

In those whom they have blessed

They live a life again,

And shall live through the years

Eternal life, and grow

Each day more beautiful

As time declares their good,

Forgets the rest, and proves

Their immortality.

Year of Gratitude - Day 295 - Patience

No gift can ever top the one I received this evening. He waited for me. I am so grateful that he waited for me. I love you.

Year of Gratitude - Day 271 - Supermoon & lunar eclipse

Yeah, I know it was YESTERDAY, but I'm so grateful that the skies cleared up for a few moments so my husband and I could gaze up at the celestial spectacle that was the supermoon and lunar eclipse combo. The photos really don't do it justice. If you saw it, you couldn't stop staring at it. In fact, even though the clouds were thick, we'd look out our door every 5-10 minutes to track where the moon was in the sky. Just for a glimpse. It was worth it! So grateful to not have to wait until 2033 to see that live! Absolutely incredible. I'm grateful to have shared such a moment with my guy.

Year of Gratitude - Day 270 - Pope Francis

I am not a religious person, but I would be a fool not to recognize the good that religion does for people. I DO believe in the golden rule, the commandments and other worthy teachings. Hence, why I really love Pope Francis. He practices what he (and his religion) preaches. His United States visit has been truly wonderful and I've really enjoyed hearing his message; he's a great orator. Also, he's a chemist. That's solid. I hope people are inspired by the Holy Father. 

With so many crappy leaders and poor role models, it's good to see that the Pope is once again a shining beacon of moral and spiritual strength. The world needs more of his kind.

Year of Gratitude - Day 211 - My Partner

My husband is my best friend. We have been together since 1999 and I feel like I love him more each day. I know that sounds very cliche, but there's really no other way to explain how I feel about him. Growing old with him will be wonderful. My best piece of advice to anyone who wants a long-term relationship is this: you have to be friends first. If you can't be friends, you can't be partners for life. Also, if you don't love yourself, loving others will be most challenging.

Also, when the server tells you that he is impressed that you ate that much surf and turf, you will regret what you've done in like 15 minutes after your anniversary meal.

Year of Gratitude - Day 189 - Mama

It is my mom's birthday. I don't feel that I need to expound about all the reasons I love my mom. She is literally half the reason I came into this world. The sacrifices that she has made for me, both on her own and with my dad, ensured that I would have a chance to succeed in life. For that, there is no repayment and we do not have enough time or words to share what that means to me.

I love you, mama!

Year of Gratitude - Day 168 - Love is like a tree

"Love is like a tree: it grows by itself, roots itself deeply in our being and continues to flourish over a heart in ruin. The inexplicable fact is that the blinder it is, the more tenacious it is. It is never stronger than when it is completely unreasonable."

~ Victor Hugo

Year of Gratitude - Day 122 - SPL Family

I know I mention Southfield Public Library a lot in this year of gratitude, but there's a lot to be grateful for. Like every single one of these people, for example. We all got together tonight and had dinner in Southfield. It was a wonderful evening!

Year of Gratitude - Day 101 - Anthony and Jamie

Today, my friends Anthony and Jamie got married. I can't think of two more wonderful, caring, smart, funny, loving people. Seriously, Anthony has been our friend for a long time and it feels like Jamie has been with us just as long. They are so wonderful and great and I am delighted to be considered their friend. Further, I'm honored they invited us to celebrate their love. Their wedding was WONDERFUL! A perfect day in every way!

Sidenote: I really, really enjoyed Batch 69 American IPA from Frankenmuth Brewery. Really. I think we all enjoyed a lot of things that evening. This photo is evidence of that.

#freedomandpoutine

Year of Gratitude - Day 87 - Audrey

Early in the morning on this day in 2012, I received one of the most difficult calls I could ever imagine. Our niece, Audrey, passed away just weeks after her third birthday. My husband and I were very, very fortunate to have celebrated that last birthday with her. We will always cherish her warm, tender little thank-you hug.

Until I wrote this post, I never thought about considering that hug as a happy memory to return to in life, probably because of its close proximity to death. Burying a child is an intensely painful memory, but as I reread her obituary, I delighted in my memories of our short time with her. The very thought of her makes me smile. I miss her very much and I will keep that tender hug with me always.

Year of Gratitude - Day 71 - Love

— Albert Camus
Source: http://www.aseaofquotes.com/post/115216430909/albert-camus 

Year of Gratitude - Day 17 - Poetry 2

This poem is one that speaks to me in many personal ways. When I first read it, I was going through a difficult situation (not with my husband). My husband was there for me through all tears, struggle and uncertainty.

To My Dear and Loving Husband
By Anne Bradstreet

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let’s so persever,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

As always, the Poetry Foundation provides the poem, a reading, the history behind it and a guide to the poem's content.

30 Days of Gratitude: Days 1 & 2 - My family

You know, Facebook isn't always a hot mess. A trend that has made me smile and inspired me to get back into blogging is "30 Days of Gratitude". Each day you post one thing you're grateful for. I love this. I love when people get into something POSITIVE and it makes them think about all the good in their life.

While I don't want to do it on FB, I will try to post 30 things I'm grateful for this month and try to sneak in a little bit of knowledge in with each post. Here goes:

Day 1 - My husband
This December, my husband and I will have been in a relationship for 14 years. Something that I feel has had a very positive influence on our relationship is the fact both of our parents are still together. No two people are perfect, things will go wrong sometimes, but you can work through all of life's up and downs together. Having my husband through it all is something I'm grateful for every day.

A few year's back, I read that 60% of marriages worldwide were arranged. According to some reports, that percentage is closer to 55% nowadays, but that still is surprising to me. Arranged marriages don't sit well with me, but while looking up some info, I came across this article that had a different, more positive perspective on arranged marriages (Modern Lessons From Arranged Marriages).

Day 2 - Our Parents
I guess I gave this away in the first day, eh? Both of our parents have done so much for us and have always been there for us. I can't think of two better pairs of caring, wonderful and hardworking parents.

Book Review: Unbearable Lightness of Being

Unbearable Lightness of Being
by Milan Kundera

This was one of the latest love stories I read. I think I had love story fatigue, because I didn't get into the plot very much. I also found myself not particularly interested in the characters. I can't put my finger on what it was, but each one had some sort of pathetic fault to them that just made my eyes roll constantly.

Don't get me wrong, this was still a pretty good book, but no thanks to the love story. I really love hearing Kundera's voice at carefully placed spots throughout the book. He's a little bitter about the state of Eastern Europe in the 1980s, but his anger ignites his writing. There is one part of the book where he sounds a little like Rene Descartes. Deeper in the book there is a part about God and shit; it made the book for me. I won't ruin it for you.

Kundera's philosophy drenches some beautifully crafted pose. Here's a couple of my favorite passages, and, yeah, I realize there's a bunch of stuff about love:

We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come....What happens but once, says the German adage, might as well not have happened at all. If we have only one life to live, we might as well not have lived at all. (p. 8)

Necessity knows no magic formulae-they are all left to chance. If a love is to be unforgettable, fortuities must immediately start fluttering down to it like birds to Francis of Assisi's shoulders. (p. 49) 

Sensuality is the total mobilization of the senses: an individual observes his partner intently, straining to catch every sound. (p. 54) 

No, vertigo is something other than the fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves. (p. 60) 

We might also call vertigo the intoxication of the weak.(p.76 )
Culture is perishing in overproduction, in an avalanche of words, in the madness of quantity. (p. 103) 

There are things that can be accomplished only by violence. Physical love is unthinkable without violence. (p. 111) 

...love means renouncing strength. (p. 112) 

Surgery takes the basic imperative of the medical profession to its outermost border, where a person is clubbed on the head, he collapses and stops breathing. Some day, he will stop breathing anyway. Murder simply hastens a bit what God will eventually see to His own. God, it may be assumed, took murder into account; He did not take surgery into account. He never suspected that someone would dare to stick his hand into the mechanism He invented, wrapped carefully in skin, and sealed away from human eyes. (p. 293) 

I have said before that metaphors are dangerous. Love begins with a metaphor. Which is to say, love begins at the point when a woman enters enters her first word into our poetic memory. (p. 209) 

The novel is not the author's confession; it is an investigation of human life in the trap the world has become. (p. 221) 

History is as light as individual human life, unbearably light, light as a feather, as dust swirling into the air, as whatever will no longer exist tomorrow. (p. 223)
Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost. (Plato's 'Symposium'). (p. 239) 

(about vertigo) ...when the north pole comes so close as to touch the south pole, the earth disappears and man finds himself in a void that makes his head spin and beckons him to fall.
...
If rejection and privilege are one and the same, if there is no difference between the sublime and the paltry, if the Son of God can undergo judgement for shit, then human existence loses its dimensions and becomes unbearably light.(p. 244)
And therein lies the whole of man's plight. Human time does not turn in a circle; it runs ahead in a straight line. That is why man cannot be happy: happiness is the longing for repetition. (p. 298)

Book Review: Love in the Time of Cholera

What can I say about this book other than it made me understand love on a deeper level than ever before. Hence, just in time for Valentine's Day, I give you a book review about love, one of the greatest topics the world has ever known.




The author, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, uses "magic realism," which is a strange blending of the fantastic and the mundane. It was a strange reading experience, because I do not do well with exhaustive detail and intense focus on a single topic or part of the story. Yet with love being the meat and potatos in this story I couldn't peel myself from the pages.



It is set in a coastal Colombian town between the years 1880 to 1930. Florentino Ariza falls in love with a young Fermina Daza. Her father doesn't like Florentino and takes her away on a journey. His plan works and Fermina Daza returns to find that she doesn't love Florentino and goes on to marry a wealthy and respected doctor. After 50 years of marraige, the doctor dies and Florentino returns to Fermina Daza's life.


There are a variety of beautiful things going on in the story. First there is the comparison of love and cholera. Anyone who's felt true love knows the pains associated with it. I've never had cholera, but I have felt love. From the descriptions in the book, the stomach is turned the same way by both.


The author goes to explore all the different types of love - true, platonic, sexual, incestial, timeless and a variety of others. Most of these are represented through Florentino, who is a well read, poetic man tormented by the wait for Fermina. Well, sort of tormented. I believe during his wait he has just over 600 affairs. Yet, somehow, the story remains romantic in a ferocious manner.


Finally, I completely fell for how the author treated love in old age. At the end of the story, the two love birds are about 70 years old. Again Marquez turns a mundane thing (a couple of old geezers) into something fantastic (poster "children" for growing old together). I have a very strong feeling that this kind of ageless love is present in my relationship and it's a warm feeling, to say the least.


I have read two other love stories before this one - the Namesake and Persuasion. Although the two of these love stories were fine, I didn't hear the beauty in the authors' words as I heard in Marquez's. He makes me FEEL the love - from it's ecstasy to it's gut-wrenching suffering. Love is a roller coaster that takes a person from high to low in a matter of seconds. That is what this book is. It is vivid and magical.


A final word on the book...it was translated from Spanish by Edith Grossman, who my colleague and fiction-guru, Kitty, said was reknowned for her translations. The proof is in the pudding. I can't imagine much of the meaning is lost as the translation comes through seamlessly. Bravo!


Highly recommended for the hopeless romantics out there.

"Sweet Love, I cannot show thee in this guise..." - William Ellery Channing (1818–1901)

Sweet Love, I cannot show thee in this guise
Of earthly words, how dear to me thou art,
Nor once compare thy image in my eyes
With thy dear self reposed within my heart.
The love I bear to thee I truly prize
Above all joys that offer in the mart
Of the wide world, our wishes to suffice,—
And yet I seek thy love; for no desert
That I can boast, but that my new love cries
For love that to its own excess is meet,
And searching widely through this dark world’s space,
Hath found a love which hath its holy seat
Within thy bosom’s blissfulest embrace,
And to awake this love is at thy feet,
Whence will it not arise till thou accord this grace.

Let not my love implore of thee in vain,
For in its loneliness it dooms to wo,
From whose deep depths I cannot rise again;
Let not thy love conspire to kill me so
With my love, which will only share its reign
With thine its sister; rather may both go
To that high altar, where no longer twain,
In sweetest concord both together grow,
Thence to ascend to the Eternal Love,
And be absorbed and spread through all the life
That breathes in purest holiest bliss above,
Or that incites all mortals to the strife
Of kindness, in this scene of mixed delight
And griefs—of brightest day and darkest night.