Dealing with death in the last months of my twenties

The following was written by me on April 1, 2012, but I never got to publishing it. For me, 2012 was one of the worst ever. My family experienced some pretty serious deaths by that point - my grandmother at the beginning of the year and then my wonderful niece just two weeks after her third birthday. 

As I went through my some writing drafts on the first of this new year, I found this piece of writing and it inspired me. I'm so happy that I took down my feelings and my thoughts after a number of pretty awful events, because even though I didn't feel I was thinking clearly then, I wrote a few things that were quite clear. I'm so glad that I made a plan on how to focus my sadness. I didn't accomplish everything below, but that's the beauty of writing it down. I can rediscover it and continue on a path to being better.

April 1, 2012 

Dealing with death is not exactly how I expected to spend the last months of my twenties. Two of the most amazing people I've ever known I've lost this year, my Babcia Wanda and my little niece Audrey. I don't think I can get much on the page right now that makes too much sense, but I do want to get something down.

First, the deaths of Babcia and Audrey have made me want to live life to the very fullest, whether I have a week to live or another five decades. And it has made me so much more keenly aware that my time to spend with other people maybe shortened because they're time is limited on earth. So what if I live to be a 100 and don't have great experiences with every person I can? It is not that I haven't given it my all in the past, but I haven't been a positive force on those around me. Negativity has had a way of controlling me in the past and I want to live better each day.

I want to write more. I want to write about my family more and about my husband. I want to write about libraries and in support of them. I want to respond to foolishness with the written word. I want to write poetry. I want to write foolishness and make people laugh. 

I want to read, because the only way to get better at writing is to read it first. I really want to make the hour of 10-11pm my reading hour. I want to turn off all the screen in my life and read. I want to read so I can write. I want to volunteer to read books to children and help illiterate adults learn to read.

I want to serve. It is important to enjoy and take care of myself, but I have been fortunate and I need to give back in many ways. I'm still feeling out how to do this, but Audrey's passing has given me focus on pediatrics and children.

Mashups for Granny?

Seriously, look, I love this. :) The image was created by psd and I found the story through PHILANTHROPIY 2173.

Don't know what a mashup is? I don't either, but I know they are sweet, due primarily to my buddy B-Money. He says it's cool, then I will probably agree. Most of the time. :)

What do you think of the granny mashups? Would granny use it? Do they already? Sorta? Granny is using Facebook to talk to the grandchildren, after all.

Elderly behaving badly

Working at the library will introduce one to all walks of life. At the Southfield Public Library, we get a lot of senior citizens coming through. Generally, I think how great it must be to be retired and just read, read, read books to my heart's content. A lot of the elderly folks are very kind and are pleased beyond belief when they are served by the librarians here.

Yet, I've been noticing some senior citizens behaving badly lately. I'm not sure if it's because they are gaining in years and feel they are entitled to act like [insert expletive here], but it's getting sort of silly. For example, an unwritten rule here at SPL is that you do NOT kiss the librarians. One of the best librarians in the house was kissed by an elderly patron. Not cool. If you want to show your appreciation, fill out a comment card with fluffy prose. Don't forget to add our names. Kissing does nothing for us other than gross us out.

A second unwritten rule: don't kiss and then insult the other patrons. A week or two ago, another elderly lady came in and tried to kiss a patron's daughter. The older lady then started telling the patron and the patron's daughter that they were too fat and had to go on a diet. My colleague grabbed a piece of paper with call numbers on it, grabbed me and sharply whispered, "Get her out of here." I interrupted the patron's berating of the others and had her to walk to the stacks with me. It was embarrassing for everyone except the lady, who chuckled and asked me, "Oh, was I misbehaving?" I looked at her and said, "I'm just showing you where your books are."

A third patron of ours loves coming to the desk and acting high and mighty with his vast knowledge bank. He always tells us what he recommends and what we should be watching. Sometimes he tries to get folks to talk about inappropriate things at the desk, like God. Sorry dude, no can do. It was funny one day when he was trying to talk hockey with me. As soon as he began ragging on Nick Lidstrom I knew he was full o' crap. When I had a reply for every one of his ridiculously formed statements about the Detroit Red Wings, he looked at me and said, "How do you know so much about the Red Wings?" When I told him I wrote for the organization for 4 seasons, he realized that he was not the all-knowing party in the conversation. He left immediately and without a word. Silent victory was mine.

Finally, there's a patron who is a tutor and feels that he should be served right away, regardless whether there are patrons in front of him or not. Further, he SCREAMS his demands at the librarians from across the floor. He's also been calling people names and throwing around his age, like it's some pass for acting like a [insert expletive here]. He keeps threatening that he's going to tell the boss, but the boss isn't going to respond well to some dude that screams at and degrades his librarians.

Elderly folks really should know better. If you want to be respected, you must first show respect. Age isn't a "Get-respect-whether-you-are-civil-or-not" card.