1/1/14

Confessions of an old year: 2013

2013 was pretty swell. I began a good job, reconnected with tons of friends and I started writing, reading and cooking more. I have found that I am more reflective in my writing and I have been learning more about myself through the practice. In these reflections, however, I found that there are little bits of me that may appear, well, kind of embarrassing.

These are my confessions for a year gone by:
  1. Sometimes at rest, my face is a bitch face. I'm so sorry if my smug demeanor has ever offended you, but, well, that's my face. My thinking face is even worse - it's like bitch face meets angry brow. Whenever I'm writing I have the thinking face on and my husband always asks me at least once, "Is everything okay?" Yeah, babe, it's just my face. 
  2. Vanity sucks. I hate makeup and fashionable clothes, accessories, done up nails...except there's one problem: I'd like to be pretty and I've considered stepping up my own vanity game. I think this is me getting old. I hate the thought of talking about beauty, too, but it might have to happen in the new year. Egad. I blame Pinterest.
  3. Pope Francis rules. He's like a South American Pope John Paul II, who was also the man. I think these guys really exemplify the BEST religion has to offer. The Catholic Church really needs a dude like Pope Francis, who I already think is going to have the same dramatic effect on the world that Pope John Paul did. While I no longer practice Catholicism, if I did, I would super, duper proud to have Pope Francis as a leader. As a fellow human being, I'm super duper happy that Pope Francis is at the helm and leading by example. 
  4. The radio has been getting a lot of play in my car. I listen to pop now and played Christmas music since Thanksgiving. I've enjoyed using my Shazam to find new music, including new hip-hop, some Eurotrash and, yes, another confession...
  5. I like dub step. A friend was describing the sound of dub step while ridiculing it a while ago and I was like "Oh crap, I think I like that stuff."  And, alas, I do.
  6. Continuing with the pop music confessions... I think I like Miley Cyrus. I only really like "Can't Stop" - it's Miley's personality as a free, wild woman that I like more. While I understand that people have called her inappropriate, and some have even pegged some of her activities as racially insensitive, I don't actually feel that this young woman is spiteful or hateful. Is she naive? Perhaps, but then again, which of us was the pinnacle of wisdom and responsibility at age 21? We don't all get to be like Miley - doing whatever we want, whenever we please in as few articles of clothing as we dare...but she does. And she's doing it and apologizing for none of it. One of my mantras this year (and will remain for years to come) is "Stay true to yourself." Miley has done exactly that. And while I don't love her antics, with her silly tongue protruding from her face and her jiggly thighs flopping around all over the place, I love that she is herself and gives zero cares what people think. She's not hurting anyone, she's clearly having the time of her life and she's staying true to herself. I wouldn't invite her to dinner, but I'd give her a high five for sure.
  7. I'm still in the recovery stages of my long battle with workaholism. While I am MUCH better this year about working off the clock, I still slip. However, this last year I have ensured that my time is no longer monopolized by a job. I deeply care about my work and am a dedicated employee, but at the end of the day, the expectation is not to work 50-60 hours a week. I'm not a high powered attorney, a doctor on call or anything like that. The work will be there when it's time to work. This boundary has been a difficult one for me to draw, because I've always been so eager and willing to go the extra thousand miles. Yet when I think about the cost of my behavior, my precious personal time, I shudder at the thought of things that bring me joy that I neglect - riding my bike, cooking for my husband, reading a book, writing, visiting my parents and snuggling with their puppy. We all have very limited time on this planet. Much of it is spent sleeping, much of it working and then there's that finite bit that you get to LIVE with. I'm working on my addiction to work and so far I've really enjoyed the benefits of TRUE personal time. 

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