9/22/14

On being a lady...at the ballpark...by yourself.

Each year I purchase a lot of baseball tickets. Like 42 games to be exact. Every year, I like to pick up a couple extra loner games. I get a single ticket and go do whatever the heck I want by myself. Tonight, for example, I decided to walk around the entire park, stopping only for beer, pizza or nachos. In general, these adventures are relatively harmless and some good me-time, but today something was off.

Some observations.
  • When you don't have a bud who has your attention, your listening drifts to those around you. Yikes. All day I thought I was surrounded by 16-year-old boys. It turned out, not once was I in the company of a minor. Just bozos. Maybe kids day isn't so bad after all.
  • When alone and a lady at the ballpark, direct eye contact is not suggested. I make eye contact with everyone. Everyone. This is mostly because people shy away from you when you make direct eye contact. I love that. However, there's a select handful of slow pokes that feel direct eye contact indicates an interest in interacting. Quite the opposite, but there you have it. Please, let me eat my nachos in peace. I don't want to have a conversation. I came to the game alone for a reason... it's me-time, dang it!
  • To me, there's not a bad seat in Comerica Park. Tonight, I used a ticket-exchange ticket and sat in the upper deck, to the right of home plate. So far, my exchange tickets have been very nice, like the first row in the upper deck. I love getting a different look at the park. Friends, let's talk about something. If you've never been to the 300s section, especially to the top, don't be a d-bag by uttering something like this: "Wow, I've never been this high before." Grow the hell up. No one is impressed that you have ventured your privileged ass up to where normal folks sit. Yippy flippin' skippy, you're too good for the upper deck. Stop being a jerk and have a seat so the people that showed up on time can watch the game without you in the way, yuppie.
  • Don't be the drunk person on the ground floor that can be clearly identified as drunk from the top of the stadium by others.
  • While I don't like Little Caesar's pizza in general, at the ballpark, it's pretty dang good. 
  • In general, I do like Garden Fresh Gourmet products, but the salsa they serve at Comerica tastes like it has added sugar in it. That's gross.
  • Those guys playing the bucket drums all around the perimeter of the park are annoying! People still give them money, though. You know, cause they play the buckets.
  • If you try, you can get a free parking space two or three blocks from the ballpark.
  • No matter what, people think you are weird when you take score. I met Noah today, a fellow score keep with 5th row seats in my section. I was his captive audience as he told me about what a bad manager Ausmus was. We also bagged on Avila together. That was nice. 
  • No matter what, I think people that feel scorekeepers are weird can shove off.
  • And finally, it doesn't matter the Tigers are in a pennant race. When a tragedy like the White Sux or Minnesota Twins come to town, the Tigers find a way to poo the bed. Not cool.

1 comment:

pandamans said...

WAIT. You bagged on AVILA? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?